Week 6 NFL Recap

I had a blog ready to go for lunch time and it disappeared. I spent the last 2 hours with WordPress trying to figure out what happened. Well, they don’t know. So for the 30 of you that read this, I’m sorry it’s late and I’m miserable rewriting it, but here we go.

Let’s start in London, where Jameis Winston is the face of consistency. Winston managed to throw a pick on his very first throw and his very last throw of the game. Watching Jameis turnover the ball over and over is actually hysterical to me. In a so called home game for the Bucs they couldn’t battle through Jameis mistakes. We were able to talk to Jameis after the game and ask him about his performance, unfortunately he didn’t have much to say. I asked the hard hitting questions, here is the whole interaction, “Hey Jameis Bat Purrell with the Concession Stance, how many turnovers did you have tonight?”

Jameis also managed to fumble on back to back plays. He recovered the first fumble but couldn’t grab the second (grab her right by the pussy, joke insert here).

On the other side, Kyle Allen is playing his ass off. I can’t wait until Cam is ready to come back and RiverBoat Ron is forced to go with Kyle Allen. At least Cam will have the fall back of working as the doorman at a hipsters only apartment building

Panthers 37 Bucs 26

The Eagles embarrassed themselves, the city, Rocky, and worst of all me. Their defense was pitiful. They made Kirk Cousins look like an actual functioning human as opposed to the scared man that cooks his steaks with aluminum foil on the grill. The Eagles went with a bold strategy of not covering anyone especially not Adam Thielen or Stefon Diggs sometimes on the same play. Check out my all 22 break down below

They tried to confused Cousins and have him drop it off to the “X” receiver, who would have only gained 25 yards as opposed to the touchdown that this play resulted in. Shockingly, this was only the second worst secondary play I saw this weekend. My brothers high school football team lost 76-8 and the opposing quarterbacks numbers were 11-13, 327 yards, and 8 TDs

Vikings 30 Eagles 20

The other big one o’clock game came between two of the most young and exciting quarterbacks in Mayfield vs Trubisky whoops it was actually Watson vs Mahomes. I had this game on TV2 the Eagles stay on TV1 even with their performance. The entire game it looked like Mahomes was running for his life and throwing the ball up for grabs. Having watched Andy Reid as a young whipper snapper growing up I know he’s one of the best offensive minds going. Right now, his offense looks a little figured out, mainly because he only likes to throw the ball. He’s basically the Mike Leach of the NFL. Also maybe the Onion is onto something?

Maybe less ribs, more running the ball.

Desean Watson on the other hand was awesome. He seems to always make the right play. Including knowing when to take off and run.

Also somehow when he runs he manages to never get hit. Right now he has to be one of the top MVP contenders

Oh, Tyreek Hill came back. Tyreek Hill is the kid in CYO basketball that is undersized but way more aggressive than everyone else (usually that kid fouls out in the first 7 mins of the game), but he’s super fucking talented.

In other news the Cowboys went into the Meadowlands and had on obvious difficult game against the Jets… wait what? Sammy Darnold came back and dropped a couple balls in a bucket

The Cowboys stormed back from a 21-3 deficit at half, but fell short on a two point conversion at the end of the game. We reached out to Skip Bayless for a quote and it didn’t seem to be bothering him at all

Didn’t bother him at all. Not even 3 hours later. Can’t believe we didn’t get a Mason Crossbar reference in this rant.

He said he is going to get a rub down from Ernestien (you couldn’t script a funnier name for Skips wife) and he’ll be ready to go for Undisputed tomorrow.

The good news for the Cowboys is Jason Garrett has that locker room under control.

Side note: I promised myself I wouldn’t talk about the Titans Denver game anymore. I money lined and took the Titans with the points. They didn’t score. Mariota got benched for the young up and comer in Ryan Tannehill (still throws that nice spiral). Fuck I’m talking about this game, the Titans were in the red zone from what I could see on TV2 over and over and just refused to score. Brutal. I’m sorry if you’re a fan of either of those teams. Mariota is going to look great with a headset as a backup for the rest of his career. Maybe him and Jameis could get together and split reps for a team in the near future. Woof that 2015 draft looks brutal.

Titans nothing Denver more than zero

In the Sunday Night Game, Duck came to play. Devlin had a nice day, but that Steelers defense is absolutely back. Minka Fitzpatrick and Devin Bush are going to be a problem for the next decade in the AFC North.

On the other hand, I think Phillip Rivers is done. He’s always had that awkward short arm throw, but now he looks like a basketball player that puts far too much arc on the ball.

You never want your throws, related to a Dwight Howard jump shot. Actually you never want to be mentioned in the same sentence as Dwight Howard. Rivers just throws the ball up for grabs. Oh and believe it or not. Phillip Rivers got mad

Steelers 24 Chargers 17

That’s it for this week. Again sorry it is late, but if you get any funny videos don’t be afraid to shoot them to my DM on Twitter, find me as Bat Purrell